7 Ways to Enjoy Better Sex for Men Over 40 (And Beyond)

by Glenn Larson

The years you pile on after you turn 40 represent a time of great upheaval.

The thing is, some of the most significant life changes are the ones we don’t talk about often enough.

Namely, sex.

The fact is, as our physical and mental facilities age, so does our complex relationship to sex. Many of us could relate to our younger days. For instance, I’ve always thought of sex as a raw expression of passion-driven by lust or love when I was younger. But I’ve never really given the fact about how sex is healthy and could still be enjoyable even at my age much thought.

Anyway, I realized that physical changes don’t really affect my ability to continue enjoying sex throughout my late 50s. Sex has become more of a personal, intimate, and sometimes even glorious thing, even when the physicality just isn’t the same anymore. But it’s enjoyable in an entirely different plane, on an almost spiritual level.

It’s different for everybody. But I genuinely believe that everybody can enjoy sex as they age. I could, and you can, too.

The first step is to release your preconceptions and open your mind to new possibilities to adapt to the inevitable physical, mental, and emotional changes that aging brings. 

It may take time, and it may need a bit of tightening up to step outside and reignite your sex life as a more mature person. Still, the process is just as exciting, sexy, and empowering as it did when we first became sexually active. Just keep an open mind, be vulnerable, and be patient.

Here are seven ways you can begin to reignite the flame of passion in your sexual being and enjoy sexuality in your 40s and well into the rest of your adulthood

7 Ways to Enjoy Better Sex for Men Over 40 (And Beyond)

  • Consult your doctor if medication is an option. Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis are the first-choice treatments for erectile dysfunction. They have been very effective in a majority of cases. Consult your doctor or a urologist to get an examination and prescription.
  • Keep the excess weight off. Cardiovascular problems are often the root of erectile problems. And high blood sugar, hypertension, and high blood pressure can exacerbate cardiovascular issues. Therefore, it’s essential to maintain a healthy lifestyle by implementing regular exercise and a healthy diet. Keeping your blood sugar and cholesterol levels may lessen the frequency of erectile dysfunction or delay its onset altogether.
  • Consider getting your heart checked. If you already have hypertension or type 2 diabetes, don’t fret. Erectile dysfunction drugs may still be effective, but your doctor might want to bring you in to check your ticker. It’s critical for health care practitioners to determine that a patient’s heart function is good before putting them on a regimen of ED drugs or supplements. That’s because ED may indicate more serious underlying problems, including significant cardiovascular disease. 
  • Don’t jump to conclusions right away. It’s tempting to instantly assume that low testosterone is at the root of all your problems. It’s an easy scapegoat, after all. But the thing is, not all men being treated for low testosterone actually suffer from it. Diminishing sexual desire may be tied together with hormonal imbalances. If there is any reason to believe or suspect that your erection issues result from low testosterone, consult your doctor. 
  • Seek professional counseling. Sexual issues such as ED and a low sex drive aren’t merely physical components–they also have an emotional and mental aspect. Therefore, seeking counseling could be an option for men, especially as they age. Men ought to consider the possibility that mental issues are causing the problem. After all, depression, stress, relationship problems, and anxiety all play a factor in sex drive and erections.
  • Communicate with your partner. If your sex drive simply isn’t up to par, talk to your partner about it. It’s perfectly normal to have differing sex drives between couples. That’s why honesty is the best policy, and both parties need to be frank about their sexual needs. This will enable both to compromise and meet each other’s needs based on reasonable expectations. Intimacy and pleasure go far beyond just penetrative intercourse. Try experimenting with the plethora of ways you can stimulate each other sexually in a more satisfying, safe, and enjoyable way regardless of your age. In other words, be open to trying new things. It’s a two-way street–tell your partner what you want, and give them what they need.
  • Make time for sex. Everyday life gets in the way of having vigorous, satisfying sex. It’s normal. Stress, pressure, tasks, activities, and commitments may leave a person with no time for sex. Therefore, both parties in a relationship ought to consciously nurture their intimacy and connection, even as they mature and as priorities change through life. When both couples are committed to doing this, they can enjoy intimacy well into their old age.
7 Ways to Enjoy Better Sex for Men Over 40 (And Beyond)

Key takeaway: Be open to changes in sex drive and passion

Apart from these practical tips for making sex more enjoyable throughout adulthood, the most empowering thing you can do about your sexual health is to embrace the changes to your relationship with it. 

In other words, it’s all about changing your mindset and adapting to the reality of aging. Losing the chains from preconceived notions about sex based on what society thinks or past experiences have shown you enable you to truly pursue your own happiness. It’s different for everyone, and not every couple is the same. But sharing this honesty and openness about what both of you are looking to get out of sex and intimacy and how your desires have changed through the years. Ultimately, the more accepting and forgiving you are to yourself and your partner, the more satisfying and rewarding your sexual experiences are, regardless of your age.

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