Sex can be passionate. Messy. Disgusting. Pleasurable. Frustrating. And a whole lot more. While sex looks perfect in the TV and movies, in reality, it is not always what it seems to be. There can be some expectations that aren’t met or pleasures that go with experience and deeper knowledge about each other.
At times, sex can be complex because a partner may not feel like doing it but choose to do it to please the other. There is just a communication gap that’s taking place in the bedroom that some couples may not bother to talk about.
Which is why sex therapists have lots to say about what’s going on in a partner’s mind during sex. And they learned this not out of theory or assumptions, but out of the length of their practice in dealing with clients who seek help on problems related to their sex life.
Below are some of the tips sex therapists share on how to improve your sex life. Read on and learn from them to get the best out of your sexual experience.
Strive to become a good lover and establish a good relationship.
You create more intimacy in the relationship by listening more to your partner. Put your cell phone aside and really talk to each other. Bring your partner out on a date or go out for a date. These little things are huge for women and enough to make them feel how lucky they are for having you in their lives.
Give yourself the pleasure to fantasize.
Men love to fantasize. Give yourself permission to do it as long as you don’t tell your partner. If you like looking at big breasted women, in which case your partner lacks, fantasize over that. Look at those bodies when your partner isn’t around. Then go home and enjoy pleasurable sex with your partner.
Internet porn can be a problem.
Porn isn’t real and can only cause some problems when you have a desire to achieve a sexual experience as exactly as what you see in porn. It can only benefit you and your partner when you both watch it to experiment something new in your sex life. But when your partner isn’t open about the idea, never insist nor demand.
Get married if you can.
Married solidifies a relationship. If it isn’t possible for both of you, at least live together. Loneliness can be a problem later in life.
Sex plays an important role in one’s life.
People who have active sex life are less lonely and better able to cope with life’s difficulties. Make sure to choose a partner whom you’re deeply interested with. This affects your behavior in the bedroom.
Both partners need to open the lines for communication.
They need to understand each other’s needs. Women love compliments and would appreciate it if you shower her some once in a while. Don’t force things or be in a hurry. Just because she agrees to go out to dinner it means she’s okay to end it with sex. It’s not always the case.
Fix your relationship.
It’s what sex therapists are there for – to help fix your relationship. Seek help whenever you feel there’s a need.
Let go of sex-pectations.
Instead of having a fixed idea on how things should go, focus on your sensations. Use your senses and allow it to lead you to have a more pleasurable experience. This reduces the sexual pressure you feel like worrying about whether you’re doing it right or not.
Explore each other’s bodies.
Sex is not only about penile-vaginal intercourse. It can be way more exciting. You can kiss more deeply and passionately, touch each other’s erotic zones, talk dirty, or agree to use sex toys. This is also a way of achieving orgasm without trying to force it.
Create a strong foundation for sexual intimacy.
Conflicts can sometimes occur in the bedroom. Bedroom issues can be solved when you understand each other’s love language. Find a common ground where you can both agree or do something that can make your partner feel appreciated and valued.
Sure, you’ve been with a lot of partners who do great in bed but it’s not a license that you can use to compare your partner with your exes. Each person is unique in their own way. Most often, better performance comes with experience. Your present partner may need more experience to do the things that you find pleasurable. Instead of comparing, teach her. She’ll not only be thankful to you but you’ll be thankful to yourself for doing so.
Give room for curiosity.
Asking your partner what she likes or dislikes is helpful. But you can also play the detective and follow your instincts in finding where she likes to be touched. This makes your sexual experience more exciting. The more you surprisingly find her erotic zones, the more sexually alive the two of you become.
No matter how much you yearned to become a sex god, it might be a fantasy too lofty to achieve. You’re a human being who have limitations. Know your limits and be realistic about it. Be clear about the amount of time, energy, and resources you can devote to your sexual intimacy.
Be adventurous and playful.
When you’ve done great sex, let it not be the last. Finding the right sex position that is pleasurable for both of you doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. Level up. Be more adventurous. Fool around and play with each other. This not only gives you a good sexual experience but strengthens your intimacy too.
Give time to your intimacy.
Include in your schedule an intimate time for you and your partner even an hour a week. This not only keeps the spark alive but is also a good break from life’s daily grind. Nothing can de-stress you than spending an intimate moment with the person you deeply appreciate and care for.
Give your body enough rest.
In this fast paced world, technology might rob you of the precious time that is supposedly spent for rest and sleep. Try to avoid checking your newsfeed too often. Instead, get some sleep to get energized for your next sexual encounter.
This lifts your mood and boosts your endorphin levels increasing your sexual desire and intimacy.
You hold the key to a fulfilling and satisfying sex life. Practice the tips above and create the most pleasurable sexual experience. It’s your right and you deserve it.